awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
