he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
