Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
