You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
