I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
