my vag is so smooth its legendary
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
