Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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