We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I am one with the molecules
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
