beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize