Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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