oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
