Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
