I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
wrigley field is MILF paradise
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
