You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
