I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
