Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
