I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize