I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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