She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
