My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
