my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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