hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I smell like Dick and happiness
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
