Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
