My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
