he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
