You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
