In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
