More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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