I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
bring money and cleavage
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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