11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize