She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
