Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
