Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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