So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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