Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
