so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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