The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
