And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
