I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
