K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
