Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
40s are totally the cure
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Randomize