I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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