I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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