I puked a lego.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
