I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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