I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
