David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
