I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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