Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize