My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
