i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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