I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
