it hurts more in the daytime
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
