I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My feet surprised me
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
