Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize