It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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