WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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