due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
