I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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