Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
