another moral hangover. fuck.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
