hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
