i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
