i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
