it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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