haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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