Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
