I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
