i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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