Jerry, you need to find god
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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