what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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