i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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