Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
